The Glasgow and Scotland prop proves reveals his deadpan humour

What’s the funniest thing that you’ve seen or heard on the pitch?

I remember playing against Munster away and the TMO’s communication link to the referee had broken. I don’t know where he got it from but the next thing you knew, the referee had a mobile phone out and was calling the TMO to get the decision.

Who are the jokers in the Glasgow squad?

Ryan Wilson and Henry Pyrgos are a couple of jokers who stand out but there are probably too many to mention. The craic in the changing room is always good!

Can you tell us about any practical jokes?

There will always be something going on but I remember once boxer shorts were going missing from players’ bags after training and some guys went home commando. After two months we walked out of our changing room and saw all of the boxers hanging from a clothes line just above the walkway.

It was definitely guys from another changing room. We couldn’t pin those responsible – I have my suspicions!

If you could be any team-mate, who would it be?

Mike Cusack’s a hit with the ladies…

Who was your childhood hero?

The rugby players I looked up to were Os du Randt, Tony Woodcock and Gavin Hastings. But my heroes were in boxing, such as Muhammad Ali and Rocky Marciano. Joe Calzaghe came into training last season to talk to the team, which was pretty amazing.

Do you have any phobias?

I’m scared of flying and light mayonnaise.

If a film was made of your life, who would play you?

I’d love to say Leo DiCaprio or Brad Pitt but if I’m honest I think I’ll have to say Ricky Gervais (below) as he’s got a good sense of humour.


What’s been your most embarrassing moment?

For a team run one day I wore a pair of boots I’m convinced were cursed. I was kicked where it hurt, tripped up and got punched in the face. It was all caught on camera as well! Suffice to say the boots went straight in the bin.

What’s the silliest thing you’ve ever bought?

I once went shopping with Al Kellock and bought a few questionable things as his dress sense isn’t the best. He didn’t provide very good guidance.

Who are your dream dinner party guests?

Leone Nakarawa as he’s a great singer, Fraser Brown because he never stops smiling and Tommy Seymour as he’d bring happiness.

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Definitely a chicken salad.

What is the best gig you have been to?

Bruce Springsteen at Hampden Park.

What would you like to achieve outside of rugby?

That is an avenue yet to be explored. I used to be an electrician but I wouldn’t want to go back to that.

This interview was published in the February 2015 edition of Rugby World. Click here for the latest subscription offers.