Former All Blacks fly-half Dan Carter on Racing 92, rats and ‘The Rock’
What’s the funniest thing you’ve heard on the pitch?
I always laugh when I hear No 9s giving advice to our forwards. Our backs know nothing about scrummaging but if a scrum goes down, our No 9s always give them advice about how to scrum.
Who are the jokers at Racing?
Marc Andreu and Brice Dulin. They always hide people’s phones or play jokes on each other. I’m pretty sure one of them put blue dye in someone’s boots and for the next month there were blue footprints everywhere. It was funny at the start but it got beyond a joke. Those two are crazy; it’s like they’re 11 years old.
What’s the best thing about living in Paris?
I just love the history. Sometimes when you’re just driving through Paris and go past these amazing monuments, you pinch yourself that it’s actually real, that you’re living in this beautiful city.
Do you have any phobias?
I hate rats. If I see a rat, I have to jump up on the table because I hate them.
Do you have any superstitions?
I always have a cold shower a few hours before a game. It’s something I started when I began playing rugby professionally 14 years ago. It was to wake me up because I always used to sleep. Now I think I have to have a cold shower before every game, which isn’t easy in the middle of winter.
If you could have one superpower, what would it be?
I’d love to be invisible every now and then, so you could just disappear.
How is your French coming along?
I have lessons twice a week, but we have so many foreign players at the club that it’s easier to speak English, so I don’t speak as much as I should. I’m slowly learning but it’s quite embarrassing when I try to speak because nobody understands what I’m saying.
What’s your most embarrassing moment?
It used to be missing any kick from in front of the posts but against Toulon recently my pants got pulled right down and everyone could see my arse. Of course, there are photos on social media so it’s something I can’t seem to escape.
Who’d you like to be stuck in a lift with?
Someone funny like Chris Rock. I’d hate to be stuck in a lift but at least if you were with a comedian he would have you laughing until the lift started working again.
What’s your guilty pleasure?
Chocolate. If I have a full block, it’ll be gone within minutes.
Who would you like to play you in a film of your life?
Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson. He looks nothing like me but the reason I’d want him to act as me is because I’d love to have muscles as big as him.
Who would be your three dream dinner guests?
Michael Jordan, Barack Obama and Roger Federer would be good.
Do you have any surprising hidden talents?
Nope. I’m not very good at anything really apart from rugby!
How would you like to be remembered?
As someone with a very strong work ethic who was extremely driven to be successful.